How to memorialize a pet

In June, we lost a beloved family member when our dog Chloe passed away at age 13. We’ve been grieving since then, trying to come to terms with how empty our house feels, how our walks don’t include a leash to hold and how our hearts just won’t stop hurting. We miss her, terribly.

When we said goodbye to Chloe, we also had to make the choices that any pet owner who has suffered a loss has to make: what do you want to do with her remains? Chloe came home to us a few weeks later in a pretty cedar box with her name engraved on the top.

But we wanted more than that. We wanted to memorialize Chloe in a way that would always help us remember the wonderful times we had with her – after all, she will always be a member of our family – and we wanted to do it in a way that honours her personality.

How to memorialize a pet

Chloe was an outside dog, through and through. When she was inside the house, she would lay on the couch looking depressed. As soon as she heard the closet opening or a shoe being put on, her nose would be at the door. She loved just laying in the backyard – she could stay out there for hours, no matter the weather. We always joked that if we ever built her a dog house back there, she would never come back inside. Her hearing always became worse when she in the backyard, too. For some reason, she could never hear us calling her to come back in.

One of Chloe’s favourite places to go in the “adventurebox” (our car) was the leash-free area at Bronte Creek Provincial Park. She loved running around the trails, finding all the mud puddles, swimming in the stream and rolling in the tall grass. She was like a pup when we brought her there – she would tear around the trails like a dog half her age. Getting her back in the car to leave was always the hard part!

So, we also knew a box on our shelf wouldn’t be her permanent resting place. But we still wanted something tangible to honour her, and that would help us focus on loving and remembering, not death and loss. We also didn’t want it to be formal because she wasn’t a formal kind of dog.

After sitting with it for a few months, I found a stone engraving company online and had a piece of natural granite engraved as a memory stone for Chloe. It will lay flat in our back garden – like a stepping stone – so when we’re in the backyard, there will always be a reminder of her. And if we ever move, we can take the stone with us.

As for the cedar box, we plan to scatter her ashes along the trails and fields of her favourite park – she was always so happy and free there, and we have so many great memories there as a family. It just feels right, and I smile thinking of her there.

Here are a few other ways to memorialize a pet:

Plant a tree in your pet’s memory. Another way to focus on living and loving, rather than death and loss.

Donate to a charity in your pet’s name. This is a nice gesture if a friend’s pet dies, too. We received cards from several animal charities, including the Farley Foundation, OVC Pet Trust and the local humane society letting us know that donations had been made in Chloe’s name. It gave us comfort knowing that her life would impact another animal’s, and that our friends and family loved her so much.

Get a tattoo. A friend of mine has tattoos of her dogs that passed away on the inside of her arms and she loves looking down and seeing their faces. My husband has talked about getting a tattoo of Chloe – I hope he does, so I can always see her face, too.

Pet portrait or album. There are so many great artists that can create artwork of your pet to display in your home. Or, if you have photographs from over your years together, use an online service like Blurb to create a photo album.

We let Chloe guide us through this process – what kind of dog she was, where we made great memories together, the things she loved. And we took our time to decide what felt right – there’s no deadline to make any decisions, and there’s no right or wrong way to memorialize a pet.

We will always miss Chloe, and we’re still grieving her, but memorializing her has helped us focus on the happy times, the memories and the decade of love, rather than the pain of losing her.